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the mightygrip game...101 uses!

mightgrip packaging!

as you can see, the packaging claims that this mightygrip has 100 & 1 uses. i find that to be a little farfetched. i mean, i know it's handy for opening jars and stuff, but 100 other uses? you must be joking.

so, in the spirit of honoring the mightygrip, i have decided that you, the web consumer extraordinaire, should help me come up with the other 100 uses for the mightygrip. i'll start us off with 5 uses:

1. opening jars (see picture if you're unsure about this one)
mightgrip in use!

2. bulb remover (from packaging)

3. lint remover (from packaging)

4. tool grip (from packaging)

5. bikini top (although you would need 2 mightygrips plus string)

6. anti-skid bathtub things (adhesive sold separately) -- dave p.

7. knee and elbow pads (string sold separately) -- dave p.

8. sink stopper -- rebeca a. (and also suggested by john t.)

9. eye patch for a cyclops -- rebeca a.

10. a yarmulke in a pinch! -- rebeca a.

11. good for rubber tacos. ole! -- rebeca a.

12. a soft frisbee -- rebeca a. and wemmer

13. good for picking up disgusting things, like poop! -- rebeca a. (she does this for her dissertation research, so she should know! - maura)

14. a drink coaster -- spontaneously suggested by both rebeca a. and peggy m.!!!

15. a hot pad (but not as handy as those '70s macrame type ones you can make with those crafty kits) -- peggy m.

16. a rubber pizza (move over english muffins!) -- rebeca a.

17. a massager for your cat or dog to make them less aggressive. (batteries not included) can also be used for gerbils! -- rebeca a.

18. a heavy duty, industrial strength dental dam (is that too pornographic?) -- rebeca a. (well, it's not too bad...)

19. a coaster to rest your CDs on -- rebeca a.

20. a way to suffocate someone while they are sleeping -- john t.

21. a beer "gripper" (can be used at bars or sporting events) -- john t.

22. roll it up and presto! - emergency drinking straw -- dennis p.

23. trampoline for pet rodents -- dennis p.

24. "mission impossible" mask - cosmetics, wig, and tom cruise not included (sorry, girls) -- dennis p.

25. condom for guys who feel the ordinary kind affords too much sensation -- dennis p.

26. replacement for those leather and wooden dowel things on the hands of high-bar gymnasts - no more idiotic giant swings! -- dennis p.

27. patch for -- dennis p.

28. mouse pad - feel the burn! -- dennis p.

29. never slide off your bicycle seat again -- dennis p.

30. tired of losing hot pads and oven mitts? 1 use of these and it's a permanent part of the pan! -- dennis p.

31. perhaps if everyone would embrace the mightygrip, we'd realize how much we have in common and all the peoples of the world could live together in peace and harmony -- dennis p.

32. cut out a lot in the shape of feet and you could have dance steps! -- aceman a.

33. you could also pave your driveway with them! -- aceman a.

34. you could blow your nose in them! -- aceman a.

35. cheap flip flops or sandals (string sold separately) -- wemmer

36. coffee filter (prank) -- wemmer

37. pool toy -- wemmer

38. ring toss game (cut a hole in the middle and find a stick to throw it on) -- wemmer

39. refurbish old ping pong paddles -- wemmer

40. cover those naughty bits on the TV while your children watch Pay-Per-View -- rebeca a.

41. play them backwards! some have been reported to play "Betty Crocker sews socks in hell!!!" -- rebeca a.

42. flaunt your mighty gripper! not EVERYONE'S got one! -- rebeca a.

43. good for hair removal and taking care of those rough knees and elbows -- rebeca a.

44. for hiding really huge corns, bunions and unsightly boils -- rebeca a.

45. a maxi pad in a pinch -- rebeca a. (eeeeewwwww... - maura)

46. hey, give one to your favorite household engineer to show that you care! -- rebeca a.

47. print subversive propaganda and campaign slogans on thousands of mightygrippers and hand them out to unsuspecting passersby -- rebeca a.

48. great for scratches on a DJ dance mix -- juano a. (rebeca a.'s cousin)

49. throw it up in the air in Kentucky and wait to hear all the UFO stories -- juano a. (rebeca a.'s cousin)

50. great for kung fu fighting -- juano a. (rebeca a.'s cousin)

51. tastes like chicken! (maybe not) -- juano a. (rebeca a.'s cousin)

52. get a few of them and start a game of twister! -- juano a. (rebeca a.'s cousin)

53. it could be a writer for this season of the x-files -- kat k.

54. start a religion to it -- kat k.

55. develop a phobia about it -- kat k.

56. smother the cries of your victims -- kat k.

57. 2 of them could be a bra for xena -- kat k.

58. as a replacement for jm. j. bullock on hollywood squares -- kat k.

59. material for art -- maura f.

60. use it to clean those hard-to-reach corners -- maura f.

61. crotch patch for movie nude scenes -- lev g.

62. ultradurable hanky -- lev g.

63. pick up downed power lines (careful kids!) -- lev g.

64. throw it on the ground and make a portal to another world (a la wile e. coyote cartoons) -- scott f.

65. *closing* jars -- aj

66. bouncy origami -- aj

67. emergency tp replacement -- neil b.

68. tv commercial blocker -- neil b.

69. halloween costume ("I'm MightyGrip Boy!") -- neil b.

70. workout towel -- neil b.

71. notepad for classes -- neil b.

72. one-use-only frying pan -- neil b.

73. butt floss -- neil b.

74. parachute for G.I. Joe dolls (and/or Barbie) -- neil b.

75. staple one to a thing of cork and use it as a clog! (i guess you would need two to make a pair, so as not to limp) -- maura j.

76. teething toy for dogs and babies! -- anne and ben s.

77. part of your serious handyman's tire repair kit -- anne and ben s.

78. waterproof stationery (with MightyGrip logo!) -- anne and ben s.

79. glue to the bottom of your shoes to create mini-trampolines -- anne and ben s.

80. a puppet (though not a very good one, it's all mouth) -- anne and ben s.

81. i could write nasty things about indie-poop on them and throw them at the twee-kidz! -- punk rock karl

82. i could put it in my tux pocket as a hanky at my wedding (i always cry at weddings) -- punk rock karl

83. amuse young children with your origami skills -- punk rock karl

84. left the house this morning without your hairpiece, no problem! -- punk rock karl

85. get several and staple them to your steps for a no slide climb -- anissa c.

86. take two and melt cheese between them for a gripping quesadilla -- anissa c.

87. with a large corsage pin this could be fastened to one's clothing for a piece of nuvo jewelry -- anissa c.

88. a pad for CD's so they don't get scratched -- anissa c.

89. use it as fake bologna in a sandwich and make my copy editor friend eat it -- todd c.

90. use it as your second when you play tic-tac-toe against a chicken so you can blame your crushing defeat on it and not have to shoulder the shame alone -- kat k.

91. a mini trampoline for your hamsters and gerbils -- jeff p.

92. civilized way to share raw herring treat with friend or loved one -- marcel l.

93. i don't know what my deal is, but when i get a mightygrip everything starts looking like a jar -- daniel t.

94. stuck to hands, feet, and knees, i can climb walls like spidey with my mightgrips! -- daniel t.

95. cut into small pieces and toss with your favorite marinara sauce. mmm-good. and good *for* you too. -- lita l.

96. sleep beside it at night and hold it close. have its children. -- lita l.

97. step 13 of a 12 step program. -- jM

98. two words: spankability. -- jM

99. the frustrating anti-sponge. -- jM

100. the better to manhandle an electrocuted significant other: toasty! -- jM

101. why, to more securely grip a mightygrip -- DUH! -- jM

102. cover up stains on the table. -- marla d.

103. put on your car for that neat 70's flower design look. -- marla d.

104. cut down the largest tree in the forest with it instead of a herring. -- marla d.

105. a raincoat for your kitten, just cut four holes for his/her legs and away you go! -- marla d.

106. cut in half and staple to the bottom of feet. no more slipping in the shower! -- tanya e.

107. how about making a web page about mightygrip where your friends can think of 101 ways of using mightygrip? -- min l.

108. a makeshift yarmulke for when you forget it's yom kippur and you've lied to your boss that you are jewish so you don't have to work on any of the jewish holidays -- dave m.

109. i could tell you...but then i'd have to explain it...i'm thinking fodder for a particle accelerator; imagine what exotic subparticles are tied up in the mightygrip! -- ty s.

110. and yet i'm also thinking of mightygrip as a wine cork removal device for obsessive-compulsives -- ty s.

111. and lastly, cause its almost my bedtime and the attendant wants me to take my medication and go to special-place land, i believe the mighty grip is the cultural meme vector that is responsible for fondue, fintailed cars, and the hipcat bachelor ethos of the early 60s. i have documentation and can cite credible sources. i am going to special sleep now. -- ty s.

112. back in my chinese iced coffee days, i used to superglue mightygrips to my palms and feet and hustle lunch money from grade schoolers playing ruler of the jungle gym. i was the all-city MASTER OF THE UNIVERSE in summer 94' and spring of 95'. -- ty s.

113. somehow sharpen to a point that could impale a nucleus and use as a lethal weapon against juano a. (arrrrrrgh) -- alex from kentucky (hey! that's not playing nice! - maura)

114. sew them together to make a bitchin' (yet gripable) steering wheel cover -- beeb

115. you could like let your kids teethe on them when they're little, and save money on those zwieback thingeys -- mollieanna

116. a trampoline for hamsters -- tim

117. beating small defensless orphan nuns -- josh

118. a waterproof mat for those with a tendancy to wet the bed -- gemma

119. to put on atlas' shoulders so the world won't slip off -- bunny

120. reusable arse wipe (use, wash, use, wash...get the idea?) -- tong y.

121. use one (or many) in the making of a hoax UFO sighting! -- dylan t.

122. form a website based on people's love for the mightygrip. then people can share a common bond! america and other nations across the world will be better because of the mightygrip, and we will never have to fear russia again!! -- raareejane4god

123. great for drawing champagne corks out slowly -- pam

124. staple a few together for a bath mat! -- anne s.

well slap me silly, we've achieved *and* surpassed 101 uses! who knew? you all are just so creative, i can't stand it!!!

so, let's just keep it goin' on then, okay? keep sending your suggestions to me and i'll keep posting 'em, okay? (send 'em to: mas at mauraweb dot com)

thanks for playing!

13may96 (originally)

copyright © maura a. smale