2007
don’t cover my footsteps
maura @ 9:39 pm
So there’s this place, which shall remain unnamed, that I currently need to visit a few times per week. It is not an airport. But it seems to be extrapolating threat level orange from airports to itself. Which seems odd to me because really, aren’t airports the most miserable places in the world? Why would anyplace strive to be more like an airport?
Let me explain. You see, this place has a rule about cellphones: you can’t use them. Fine, lots of places have that rule, no big deal. But does that mean that when they search your bag at the entrance they will throw your cellphone in the garbage? No! It just means that they will yell at you if you use your cellphone there. (Cellphones annoy me so I am all over this rule, actually.)
This place has another rule: no food or drink. Used to be the rule was enforced identically to the abovementioned cellphone rule. But recently there’s been some sort of sea change and the guards are now making people throw out their food and drink upon entry!
This is a problem for me. I tend to bring my lunch when I’m going to be out for the whole day. And hydration is very important to me. You never know when you will be stuck on a subway or something similar — it’s good to have some water and a snack just in case.
So recently I’ve been obsessed with figuring out a way to stash my lunch + water bottle invisibly. There’s a thin pocket on the back of my bag (perfect for a magazine), so this morning I packed only flat things* for lunch: a sandwich, a granola bar (instead of a container of trail mix), and a bunch of grapes off the vine in a plastic bag, arranged into one layer. I took a smaller-than-usual water bottle, wrapped it into my sweater (it gets cold in this place, too) and stuck it waaaaay at the bottom of the bag, under my visor and pencil case and hat and sunscreen.
* Which reminded me of that part in Microserfs when that guy was frantically coding in his office for days and his friends slipped flat foods (cheese squares, etc.) under his door for sustenance.
And it worked! For today, at least. Really I have spent entirely too much time recently strategizing about this issue. Send your favorite flat food ideas to me now, before I get a cavity from eating only dried fruits!
2 comments on “don’t cover my footsteps”
Hmm, I agree that cobbler would be too messy. But pizza, there’s an idea, and pita sandwiches. I think we still have some astronaut ice cream from our trip to the Air + Space Museum over spring break. I wonder, does it ever go bad?
Pita bread
Matzo
Pizza
Chips
Pie
Cobbler (Max says–but I think too messy)
Astronaut ice cream
Compressed can food (Max again)
Fruit rollups
Pop tarts
Gummi bears
Brownies
Pancakes
Crepes
Waffles