{"id":80,"date":"2006-11-02T22:55:13","date_gmt":"2006-11-03T02:55:13","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/mauraweb.com\/blog\/?p=80"},"modified":"2006-11-02T22:56:42","modified_gmt":"2006-11-03T02:56:42","slug":"he-could-eat-you-with-a-fork-and-spoon","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mauraweb.com\/blog\/2006\/11\/02\/he-could-eat-you-with-a-fork-and-spoon\/","title":{"rendered":"he could eat you with a fork and spoon"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I am completely in love with my new librarytastic life, but I must admit that there are a few things I miss about my old job:<\/p>\n<p>1. a paycheck<br \/>\n2. my coworkers<br \/>\n3. the (relatively) inexpensive + easy-to-obtain health + life insurance for me + my family<\/p>\n<p>So we applied for life insurance recently.  We filled out the forms and answered invasive questions over the phone and were told we would need to give blood and urine samples.  I was expecting to have to go to a lab to donate my fluids but the other day we got a call that no, a nurse would come to us.<\/p>\n<p>This set off a huge paranoia fest in my brain.  I mean, who&#8217;s to say that the nurse who takes our blood + pee is REALLY affiliated with the insurance company?  How do we know it&#8217;s not just someone walking in off the street (albeit with all the right equipment and paperwork)?  Clearly I have watched one too many X-Files episodes or something*, but the whole thing just seems really really weird to me.<\/p>\n<p>ANYway, today the nurse came.  She was 3 hrs. late, so I really REALLY had to pee by the time she got here.  I had to pee in a cup and pour it into two little vials.  We had to take the trash out right then and there because we could totally see Gus saying &#8220;what&#8217;s that little cup for?&#8221; and reaching in to grab it.  The nurse was not a good phlebotomist and now I have a bruise.<\/p>\n<p>And I still don&#8217;t understand why they couldn&#8217;t have just sent us to a lab.<\/p>\n<p>* Jonathan says I should mention &#8220;something about clones and doppelgangers and whatnot&#8221;, so I am.  You know, how they could make those things of me with the blood samples.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I am completely in love with my new librarytastic life, but I must admit that there are a few things I miss about my old job: 1. a paycheck 2. my coworkers 3. the (relatively) inexpensive + easy-to-obtain health + life insurance for me + my family So we applied for life insurance recently. We [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-80","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mauraweb.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/80","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mauraweb.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mauraweb.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mauraweb.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mauraweb.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=80"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/mauraweb.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/80\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mauraweb.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=80"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mauraweb.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=80"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mauraweb.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=80"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}