So I was going to post tonight about how I’ve had some hardcore bloggers block lately. And I was going to title it: “bleck, blick, block.” But then I sucked one of Gus’s soccer socks into the vacuum cleaner as I was vacuuming it, and suddenly I had something to write about!<\/p>\n
I know you’re wondering why<\/i> I was vacuuming Gus’s soccer socks. See, this season Gus’s team is playing on astroturf. Last spring they played on real grass, and got muddy or dusty or whatever during each game. And I often thought, “man, what a pain, he’d be much less dirty* if they played on one of the astroturf fields.”<\/p>\n
* And can someone please explain to me why the 100% planet-killing polyester jerseys don’t ever seem to come clean? He had a white shirt last time and it’s pale yellow this time and it is just ridiculous how easily those things stain.<\/p>\n
But now I rue my hasty thoughts, because astroturf was clearly invented by Satan. Last weekend it rained, and green, straw-like bits of astrograss and black specs of astrodirt stuck to everything: cleats, the ball, his water bottle, everything. Today it was dry as a bone, and the static electricity also<\/i>** made the aforementioned astroturf byproducts stick to everything! Evil, evil, evil.<\/p>\n
** Can I mention, in a total tangent, that Gus has lately started to actually emphasize<\/i> italicized words when he reads to us? So cool!<\/p>\n
Those 10 ft long soccer socks are like velcro with the astrograss, and since Gus wasn’t in during the first quarter today he instead spent it rolling around on the ground. Those socks looked like a shag carpet. Of course he has a game tomorrow, but I didn’t want to contaminate the laundry with all of that gross plastic. Hence the vacuuming.<\/p>\n
Our vacuum has a mighty suck! But luckily it’s bagless, so the sock just went through and into the canister, where I plucked it, dusty but unharmed. And finished vacuuming it, of course.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
So I was going to post tonight about how I’ve had some hardcore bloggers block lately. And I was going to title it: “bleck, blick, block.” But then I sucked one of Gus’s soccer socks into the vacuum cleaner as I was vacuuming it, and suddenly I had something to write about! I know you’re […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-297","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mauraweb.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/297","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mauraweb.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mauraweb.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mauraweb.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mauraweb.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=297"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/mauraweb.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/297\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mauraweb.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=297"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mauraweb.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=297"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mauraweb.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=297"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}